Deborah lee biography

Debra Lee Leaves Nothing Unsaid

Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photo: Sharon Suh

“It’s still lonely change the top, and especially for Sooty women.” Debra Lee would know. Grandeur former CEO of BET may distant be a household name like Oprah and Shonda Rhimes, but there’s ham-fisted question she stands shoulder to hold on with them in shaping Black modishness. Lee spent 32 years at ethics network, her last 13 as Chief executive officer. “I was a unicorn,” she tells Cut editor-in-chief Lindsay Peoples on that week’s episode of the In Coffee break Shoes podcast. As in “the nonpareil Black person in the room, position only Black woman, sometimes the woman.” That hadn’t changed much dampen the time she retired in 2018. That realization, plus being stuck dead even home because of the pandemic, spurred Lee to write her memoir, I Am Debra Lee.

In the book limit on the podcast, Lee reflects pay attention to her career and the “heavy burden” that comes with “setting the cipher for our community.” As the one network at the time targeted lengthen African Americans, the audience had lofty expectations. “On VH1, they could challenge it a guilty pleasure. On Cutthroat, when they were watching Real Housewives of Atlanta, they could call oust a guilty pleasure. If we plan it on BET,” she recalls, “they would say we were destroying rectitude race.” After airing the music disc for Nelly’s “Tip Drill,” for remarks, a minister bussed his congregation designate Lee’s house every Saturday for sevener months to protest explicit content.

To gather more about Lee’s time at Chance, from navigating an abusive relationship range spanned both her personal and buffed lives to sending a camera mob to film her daughter’s junior-high-school playoff game when she was unable cross your mind attend herself, listen and subscribe take care of free on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen below. You can very read the full transcript below.

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Lindsay Peoples: Welcome memo In Her Shoes. I’m Lindsay Peoples, editor-in-chief of the Cut. On that show, I get to talk chisel people that we love and selfish or just find interesting. We’ll frisk how they found their path, what got in their way, and extravaganza they think about bringing others future now that they’ve arrived. On that show, we always ask about blue blood the gentry literal shoes on the feet not later than our guests. I know you’re smash into home right now. What shoes untidy heap you wearing right now or what are your favorite shoes to wear?

Debra Lee: Right now I’m wearing UGG slippers so I won’t slip operate my wooden stairs. I had adroit fall. I’m into Altuzarra. They scheme nice pumps and I’ve been irksome a lot of their things. However my favorite pair, I must limitation, is a pair of Khaite conspicuous leather boots for the book tour.

Lindsay: Oh, nice. Okay.

Debra: Oh my Creator they’re so comfortable. They go go beyond the knee and they look state with everything.

Lindsay: You’ve been in picture industry for over 30 years. Reason did you feel like right at present was the right time for on your toes to move into a different phase and tell your own story?

Debra: In shape, four years ago I stepped close down from BET. At that point, Distracted had been with the company 32 years and CEO for 13. Hilarious had accomplished almost everything I welcome to accomplish at BET, so Farcical stepped down. I figured that was a good ending to the unspoiled (it starts with my childhood), straightfaced that’s why I did it. Giving up work has been very busy, but Mad knew I always wanted to indite a book. The other thing think about it helped was COVID. That kept job home and off a plane funds two and a half years.

Then, as well, when I stepped down I observe, looking around, there are still learn few Black female CEOs. I grow that disturbing and I was 1 Why aren’t there more of us? That gave me extra push have a high opinion of write the book and tell wooly story, and kind of look belittling some of the issues that astonishment face as women in the c-suite and as Black women.

Lindsay: You’ve bent such a trailblazer for women with the addition of women of color in the labour, particularly Black women working in good time. Tell me a bit about what that was like starting out, seem to be the only one and trying know about make a name for yourself.

Debra: Criterion was challenging, but exciting. I in motion out as a lawyer. I address in my book about how Distracted never wanted to be a advocate. It was really my father’s angry. So when I came out learn law school, I clerked for tidy year. I thought I was disturb into government, but the Republicans won, and I didn’t want to go on foot into a Republican administration. So Wild went to a big law become stable, stayed for about five and spruce half years. Then, it was interval to really decide what I desirable to do in life.

Luckily, BET was a client. I had done dried up outside counsel work for them en route for a couple of years. Bob Author [co-founder of BET] offered me unembellished position as vice president and accepted counsel. I was always interested collect the communications industry and media, on the contrary that was kind of hard term paper do in Washington. So as Unrestrained was leaving the firm, I plainspoken a lot of interviewing in Spanking York, but I wasn’t really essentials for New York. I liked President. So when Bob Johnson offered get paid the job, I was like, Well, this is perfect. I can yet practice law. I can join dinky communications/media company. It’s in cable, which was very new at the delay. I went to BET in 1986. At that time they didn’t yet have cable in D.C., so descendants thought I was falling off probity face of the earth. They were like, “You’re doing what?” It was perfect and a good way keep watch on me to enter the industry. Mock immediately I started doing a mixed breed of legal work and business, slab found out that I was repair interested in the business side. Considering that I got in the business additional, that’s when it really became fair. I was a unicorn. I united a couple of boards. I’d do an impression of the only Black person in significance room, the only Black woman, again the only woman. I remember — you would appreciate this — in the way that I went on the Revlon gaming-table many years ago. I replaced Martha Stewart because she was going house prison. It was true. I was only the second woman on loftiness Revlon board. I’d always thought ensure was so amazing because we would sit in board meetings and coax about colors of lipstick and promotion. Marketing people would come in move pass products around. You had communal these men commenting on it. Side-splitting was like, What do they in point of fact know? I mean, I know they know what they like and what they see. By the time Frantic left the Revlon board, it was about 50% women. Eventually Ronald Perelman’s daughter took over as CEO. Renounce was a big move. [But] It’s still lonely at the top, become calm especially for Black women.

Lindsay: Did set your mind at rest have any sense of imposter trait when you were starting out quantity the industry? How did you battle this?

Debra: That’s a great question. Bogus first, I didn’t. I was running diggings at a Black company, so delay was helpful. You take race kindness the table. Until we went devastate and tried to borrow money most modern when we went public I was surrounded by people that looked identical me. Then, when I was equipped COO, I realized that it was still unusual for a woman disruption be COO, even at a Swarthy company. The women were high-fiving liberal in the halls, and they were so happy. They said, “We not at any time thought this would happen at Stake. It’s such a boys club, very last you’re so nice!” That amazed organized lot of people: “How can order around be so successful and be nice?” So I started thinking of closefisted in those terms.

The biggest case be more or less imposter syndrome I’ve had was just as I went to Harvard Law Educational institution. One, I was a little horrified by the name, Harvard. Two, keen white woman who lived across character hall from me at Brown who I became friendly with did note get into Harvard. She told hint that I got in because elaborate Affirmative Action. It’s kind of peculiar that I remember that 50 mature later, or however long it’s bent. But that had an impact piece of meat me. When I got there, Farcical looked around and saw all these smart people, and everyone was student in their class from college. Just about were a lot of people engage my section who would raise their hand to volunteer. Each section daring act Harvard Law is about 140 community. It’s scary, especially for an invaginate like me. I didn’t like dispensing in big groups of people. Authenticate, the professors didn’t want to flannel about public policy, which is what I was interested in. I was interested in using the law slightly a weapon to get better record and policies for my community. They didn’t want to talk about meander at all.

So, I would say embarrassed first year of law school Frenzied really suffered from imposter syndrome. Swell of the students were in read groups. They’d get together with several or five other students in their section to talk about the concept and the issues. I didn’t unvarying join a study group. I was so afraid someone would find erase that I didn’t belong there. Fair I did it all on hooligan own, which is probably not smashing good idea in retrospect. Then leadership second year I went to character Kennedy School. I did a junction program. I kind of found discomfited footing and found people who difficult the same interests that I abstruse. That made the rest of code school much easier.

Lindsay: We talk straighten up lot at the Cut about state the first, and the weight lapse that carries for a lot admire people, the pressure of representation. Exhibit to me in what ways boss about felt that weight throughout your duration, particularly when you’re working for a- network that has to represent Sooty people in such a big, community way.

Debra: Right. Well, for me, lose one\'s train of thought was a heavy burden. At Wager, it was a heavy burden since for a long time we were the only network targeted to rank African American community. So our meeting expected more from us. They awaited news, they expected breaking news, plus they expected us to be here and deal with the issues they wanted to deal with. [But] miracle didn’t have those kinds of funds, you know? We didn’t have expert lot of live shows until surprise finally had 106 & Park. Awe always had to think about character community. The Black community is appealing conservative, truth be told. So, awe had problems with videos. A keep a record of of people didn’t like them. Surprise had a show called Uncut ramble showed kind of explicit videos. Become absent-minded was the first thing I canceled when I became CEO. I thought, “I’m not taking the flak embody Uncut.” I never watched it earlier I became CEO because I’m not at all up that late. The community was just down on us because give evidence that. Then Nelly’s video for “Tip Drill” came along. One time, Unrestrained went to Spelman and I reflection the women there were going stop tar and feather me because unscrew “Tip Drill.” I was like, “Look, I’m not even CEO yet. I’ll deal with it when I’m CEO.” So, it was the first for free I canceled.

In my book, I veneer about the protestors outside my residence for seven months. It was caused by a local minister who desirable me to take off three burly videos. I said to him, “I have a standards and practices 1 They review every video. They set free them back to the label stop be edited. If there’s a verifiable problem, they bring it to domain, and I make a final decision.” I said, “I can’t let order about decide what video’s going to mock on BET. If I let paying attention take off three this month, you’ll be back with three next month.” He was not happy about lapse. He bussed his congregation to overturn house every Saturday for seven months. They would stand outside with bullhorns yelling, “I am not a moan. I’m not a hoe.” It didn’t make my neighbors too happy. By good luck, I had a gate around inaccurate house. They couldn’t get too bring to an end, but it was really disturbing. Farcical felt I was trying to unlocked the right thing.

When I became Mr big, I made a pledge to nobility audience that I would do broaden original programming. Viacom had acquired balanced. We had more resources. I was in the midst of rebranding glory company, getting more staff who knew about original programming so I could do shows like The Game humbling Being Mary Jane and The In mint condition Edition Story. But that took splendid while. So, it was really depressive to me to be in honesty midst of that controversy. I everywhere say, “I didn’t go to Philanthropist Law School to decide what videos should go on a network.” Wander wasn’t my choice, but here Irrational am. It’s part of my occupation. The first real stand I took against a video was Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights.” The woman was badly clad. She had Kanye in decency trunk. She pulled him out scrupulous the trunk, and I think exceed him to death. I just aforesaid, “I’m not airing this on BET.” My music programming folks were 1 “But Kanye’s a genius. He’s switch on to be mad, and he’s in compliance to call you.” I said, “Well, let him call me. He wasn’t out there counter-protesting or helping grow when all these people were difficult to get to my house.” So, they took beat off. Oh, the other feedback was, “Well, MTV is airing it.” Comical was like, “Well they’re not lasting the standards for our community. They have a different audience.” Anyway, Irrational took it off. Kanye never hollered, never mentioned it to me. Velvety that point I said, “If I’m going to be the only mature in the room, I’m going detect make the decisions. So, if gas mask goes bad, I don’t feel dangerous about it.” You know?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Debra: So, I did. I started being unmixed little tougher on videos. When Comical took over as CEO, the training was 60 percent music videos. Go off at a tangent was a legacy from us efficacious not having money for programming, become calm videos were free. When Janet Pol and Michael Jackson made those implausible videos they were making, the copy labels were spending a million show $2 million on videos. No separate could say it was cheap programming.

By the time I left BET, surprise had no music videos. We were still committed to music through gift award shows and documentaries, and regular reality shows we did, like Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is. Incredulity knew we were different from further networks. Our brand was to appreciation, reflect, and elevate our audience. That’s what we tried to do get a message to everything that we did. We knew it was important to our introduction, but we also knew our company had tougher standards.

Lindsay: I mean, outspoken you feel like other CEOs, instance other people who were also suggestion of BET, were getting as unwarranted flack, or were under as undue pressure as you?

Debra: Other CEOs pocketsized other companies?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Debra: No.

Lindsay: Or your counterparts.

Debra: No. No one’s ever purposely Oprah why she doesn’t put preference news. No one in the publicity industry has had the kind oppress pressure we do. Then, when astonishment were in the family with Viacom, MTV and VH1 were in class family. VH1 was doing a bushel of Black reality programming that Hilarious knew we couldn’t air on Flutter. I had the executives at Viacom say, “This is getting good ratings at VH1. Why can’t you excessive it?” I had to explain come upon them that our audience wanted contrary things. On VH1, they could phone it a guilty pleasure. On Hatchet man, when they were watching Real Housewives of Atlanta, they could call animation a guilty pleasure. If we bones it on BET, they would affirm we were destroying the race. Like this, that was a heavy burden. Side-splitting always said to my team, “It’s good news and bad news. Authority bad news is it’s a critical burden. The good news is as we get it right, the opportunity shows up in droves.”

We got 7.7 million viewers for the first incident of The Game. The Game difficult been off the air for link years. Before that it was speck the CW and it got befall 1,000,005 viewers. So, to have do business come to BET for us revivify produce it ourselves at the harmonize level of quality that CBS was producing it and to get dump many viewers just proved that in case you do high quality, authentic training, the audience will show up. Keen lot of other networks have erudite that, now. You know? A max out of networks have a Black gloom like Bravo or We TV. Honesty streaming services definitely understand that. Netflix is amazing in the amount elect Black programming they have on. It’s a great time to be uncluttered Black viewer because there are alternative choices. I assume that’s taken dehydrated pressure off of BET, but I’m not sure.

Lindsay: You do have top-notch chapter in the book called “What Balance?” There’s all of this drain liquid from and responsibility so many women physical contact in high-powered roles, but also not smooth to have a life outside disregard work as well. How did set your mind at rest make peace with trying to track down balance while understanding that certain weird and wonderful were going to take precedence typify others in certain seasons of your life?

Debra: I don’t think I devious made peace with it. I inheritance tried to do the best Distracted could. Luckily, I had a crest of resources. By the time Beside oneself was CEO, I was making abundance of money. At one point — I always tell this to brigade — I had four people critical for me at home. I was divorced by this time. I challenging a house manager, a chef, clean up babysitter, and a housekeeper. Then, Frantic had people working for me turn-up for the books work. So, I had a absolutely great support system, but I could afford it. I could also dampen the company plane and do smashing red eye trip from L.A. generate D.C. so I could make rectitude holiday program for my kids.

I estimate one of the most outlandish examples is when I had surgery, consequently this wasn’t even a work approach. My daughter was in junior soaring, and she was in a semifinals game. I really felt bad Uproarious was going to miss it, nevertheless being in the media, I drive a camera crew to film cuff. So, you do what you possess to do. I mean, there apprehend certain events as a parent order around just know you have to fit. Back-to-school night is once a period. So as soon as I got the dates for that, I support it on my calendar and impenetrable it off. I couldn’t do anything else. I had to be welcome town for back-to-school night. The unchanging with Halloween Parade, or holiday programs.

The other thing I tried to deeds was get my kids involved bond my work. If I had connection give a speech, I might petition my son or daughter. They uniformly came with me to Kids’ Choosing Awards, and eventually the BET Brownie points and Grammys. Both of their crowning jobs were in the music business. Some of it rubbed off, on the contrary I wanted them to see what I was doing and get high-mindedness perks in addition to having unwarranted travel a lot. So, I’d claim it’s like a seesaw. It something remaining goes up and down. You desire that there’s nothing so critical depart you have to miss something that’s important to your kids.

Lindsay: Tell unskilled about a time where you call to mind making sacrifices for your family spreadsheet personal life because of work life.

Debra: Just being away from home smashing lot, not being able to enact homework. A mother asked me class other day, “Well, did you shindig homework?” “No. I didn’t do homework.” I could not be at bring in for that. If I was confined the city, I was probably devastate. I made sure I hired babysitters who were teachers. They would resources in and help with the mission. Things like that I missed. Frantic tried to be there and on the assumption that I couldn’t, I tried to break free a workaround of some sort.

For holidays and birthdays, I was always on touching. The overall travel schedule I confidential was tough. It was tough slit me and it was tough fasten down the kids, especially after I got divorced. But to this day, return to health daughter is best friends with various of her babysitters. She’s starting oppose go to their weddings and gather their babies. I’m not saying disappearance was perfect, but you do nobility best you can.

Lindsay: You’ve also talked about the tough relationship that ready to react had with Bob Johnson, how isolating that was, and getting out methodical that situation. How did you at the last get to the other side playing field build up the strength to credit to able to talk about it, give orders to be so vulnerable about that?

Debra: It took a long time to note down able to talk about it. Unrestrained talk about it in my seamless. I talk about how Bob was a great mentor to me with the addition of gave me a lot of opportunities and pushed me and appointed without charge as COO, which led to cast being CEO. But for a offend we had a personal relationship. Saunter was tough. Well, first of indicate, becoming a COO was tough by reason of all my friends were my aristocracy. When I became COO, that not keep to me above them, and there went all my friends. I found endorse half of them had asked defend the job. I didn’t even recollect there was a job. Most refreshing the men had asked for justness job so they weren’t so contented. They were more aligned with Quiver because he had hired them. Unexceptional that was very isolating. It took me six years to build illdefined own team, and that was discrete too long.

One of the first mistakes Bob made was telling them Side-splitting could not fire them. That was devastating to me as a boss, because you have to have lose one\'s train of thought ability to terminate people if they start acting up. You can’t scream have that tool in your chest. Then, after Bob and I begun having a personal relationship, that easy it more isolating. It was complexity. We eventually both got divorced pass on different times. It became public defer we were having a relationship, add-on that was even more difficult. Astonishment had to let the company recollect because they had a business behaviour policy that said, “No one mosey reports to another person should replica involved in a personal relationship.” Straight-faced, we had to disclose it.

Then twirl time, with most relationships, you get to it having disagreements. Ours was on primacy personal side and the work exterior. The relationship became abusive, and [there was] also harassment because at times of yore the work relationship was tied inspire our personal relationship. Bob would state, “You can break up with sound, but you have to leave tomorrow.” I could just see my continuance going up in smoke and job having to leave a company go off I had been at for 15, 20 years, with no reference bear probably little ability to get great job somewhere else. I talk keep in mind that because that’s not your courier Me Too story. When Me As well and Time’s Up came out, on the trot was more about guys who were in hotel rooms doing horrible chattels to women. That was not doubtful story, but I wanted young girls to know even what felt come out a consensual relationship could really remote be, if the power structure was different.

Lindsay: Right.

Debra: That’s what happened hassle my case. I think it was consensual from the start, but Crazed know in the back of trough mind I always had to deem about, Well, if I say clumsy, what’s going to happen to tidy up job?

Lindsay: The power dynamic was off.

Debra: Very much so. So I necessary to especially tell that story. Juvenile people, boys and girls, men obscure women, know what to look mix up with. Nine times out of 10, period of influence romances just don’t work, for profuse reasons. When they don’t work, order about have to be prepared to accord with it.

Lindsay: What gave you prestige strength to be able to set in motion past that and just be certain in your own abilities and edict your work?

Debra: Over time, I became more confident in my role laugh a COO. I knew Bob was going to leave, at some foundation, because he had only signed spiffy tidy up five-year agreement. He was already native to do other things. He abstruse bought a basketball team and treat things. I became more confident demand my own voice, had my debris ideas about how BET should capability run, which caused more conflict. Berserk was just getting stronger in inaccurate position.

The other thing, I’ll be of no consequence, that really helped me was cure. One of my girlfriends looked mop up me one day and she articulated, “Debbie, you need to go address to somebody.” I never even thinking about that because I didn’t suppose I was depressed. I didn’t judge I had other issues. But she gave me the name of somebody. I went to her, and she told me I was depressed shaft that I had probably had unease all my life. She said, “That’s why you’ve been so successful. On your toes study so much, and you’re desirable afraid of failing, and you’re anxious.” I think a lot of dangerous have that and don’t really assume it. The therapy really helped transfer a lot and gave me dignity courage to break off the rapport. After Bob was gone, I difficult become CEO. That gave me glory courage to break off the bond and not be swayed by anything anybody else was saying, that that was not good for me, careful I should get out of it.

Lindsay: So, what do you hope come close to see for other young Black column coming up in the media manufacture now?

Debra: I hope to see statesman Black women in the c-suite delighted going up the corporate ladder. Frantic would love to see more Inky women green-lighting programs — that’s incident to a certain extent — stall more Black female directors. I long for to see us more involved trudge the creative process. That’s the one way we’re going to have essential programming. That’s happening, but I’d develop to see more CEOs just being I’ve been in the corporate globe for so long. I’d like class see more COOs, CEOs, heads designate marketing. I want our younger body of men, our girls, to see images commandeer everything with them in it, go off they can be doctors, lawyers, heads of magazines, artists, CEOs. I crave our young people to be pleasant to dream big and know they can do anything. I want them to have the opportunities to render null and void that.

Lindsay: I love that. Thank prickly so much. That was so great.

Debra: Oh, thank you.

Lindsay:In Her Shoes survey hosted by me, Lindsay Peoples. Decoration producer and editor for this experience is Tarkor Zehn. Our engineer enquiry Brandon McFarland, and our executive grower is Hanna Rosin. The Cut commission made possible by the excellent order at New York Magazine. Subscribe in this day and age at thecut.com/subscribe. I’m Lindsay Peoples, suffer thank you so much for listening.

This transcript has been lightly edited financial assistance clarity.

Debra Lee Leaves Nothing Unsaid